


The Speed-Runner's Guide To The Mushroom Kingdom

by silveradept



Series: The Speed-Runner's Guide To The Mushroom Kingdom [1]
Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 09:13:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silveradept/pseuds/silveradept
Summary: Mario comes across a book that purports to make his journeys through the Mushroom Kingdom easier, by teaching him tricks and shortcuts that will make the journey shorter.





	1. Speedrunner's Basics

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ysavvryl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysavvryl/gifts).



It had started with a book. Delivered to his residence at the royal palace, Mario almost hadn't noticed the slim hand bound volume amongst the other correspondence and gifts delivered regularly to him. Saving the princess on the regular had perks, certainly, but it also often meant sifting through all the stuff that the adoring members of the Mushroom Kingdom sent to their heroes as thanks.

"The Speed-Runners Guide to the Mushroom Kingdom," the book declared. "Get in, get the princess, and get out before anyone knows you're there to save her."

Mario knew more than a few shortcuts at this point, but the ways to the warp zone pipes were almost as crowded with bystanders as they were with Koopa flunkies. Having some alternative paths would be helpful for not having to save so many civilians along the way.

Ultimately, though, it was the book's author that sold it to him. "Mr. L" made it clear who the writer was. Mario hadn't seen his brother in months, after a near-miss with a Piranha plant had Luigi angrily going home to Brooklyn, declaring he was done with rescuing princesses. 

If there was a chance of seeing Luigi, then the book would be worth it. Mario opened to the first page and started reading.

> The physics of the Mushroom Kingdom are sufficiently different than those of other realms that they [make it possible for even overweight plumbers to accomplish impressive feats of speed and jumping](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2oV2DQ2dEA). Therefore, the first and most basic element of speedrunning is **move at top speed wherever possible**.  
>  \--Chapter 1, "Speedrunner's Basics"

What books never seem to mention, Mario thought as he sprinted down a pathway behind a green Koopa shell clearing the way in front of him, is that running at full tilt for a very long time is _exhausting_. He'd enjoyed a much more leisurely pace on his way to rescue the princess, with enough time to eat on the way and occasionally rest. King Koopa always wanted to bargain for Peach's release or try to negotiate the joining of their kingdoms. If there weren't the Mario Brothers there to stop him, the Mushroom Kingdom might be under its third Koopa dynasty by now, but there never seemed to be a need for this kind of haste. Maybe "Mr. L" had taken a wrong turn in the Warp Zone somewhere and landed in a Mushroom Kingdom where Koopa was much less interested in alliances.

The thoughts of his brother nearly caused Mario to miss the rebound of his shell. Stopping it with his foot, Mario kicked off it and started chasing it in the other direction. The manual said that he needed to be able to catch back up to a kicked shell within a thousand meters. Once he could do that, the book claimed that he would be able to traverse small gaps in the world by pushing off one edge and allowing his momentum to carry him safely over without breaking stride or losing speed. Right now, Mario was having trouble keeping pace with, much less gaining on, the shell.

Finding Luigi would be worth the effort, he reminded himself. He needed to apologize, and to do that, he had to get faster.


	2. The Piranha Plant Vault

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning to jump with precision is no easy thing.

> With sufficient velocity and a precise knowledge of physics, it is possible for a runner to [launch themselves in a way that even the most extended Piranha Plant will snap only at the Grip-Tite boots of the plumber passing overhead](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_kulC-k5ZM). Knowing when to use this skill and when to jump to the tube and then launch over the plant can not only save lives, but precious seconds on the journey.  
>  \--Chapter 2, "The Piranha Plant Vault"

Mario launched himself from the platform, trying to get as much height as possible. The book had detailed drawings of this very spot in the Mushroom Kingdom as the perfect practice point for the pipe jump. He had stocked up on fire flowers and rewind mushrooms to practice with, as a precaution. Most jumps, he bailed himself out by frying the Piranha Plant before it could chomp him. He wasn't sure why they kept coming back, but it was useful. The jump to the edge of the tube and over was easier to do, although he'd nearly kicked the venomous thorns on the plant a couple times before getting the timing down.

He bailed on this jump as well, flinging fireballs into the mouth of the expectant Piranha Plant until it turned to ash. This was clearly impossible. Maybe Luigi could do this jump, but Mario didn't have it, whatever it was. He slammed his hand down on the pipe in frustration.

The book had been right about the gap dash, though. The first time he'd performed it, appearing to walk on the air between the spaces, both the Toads and the Troopas that witnessed it stopped for a moment, jaws unhinged as they gaped. He'd stomped the Troopas and sworn the Toads to silence about it, but he had a feeling that the legend of the Mario Brothers was going to get stranger before all was said and done.

He hopped down from the pipe and waited for the next Piranha Plant to arrive so that he could try the jump again. And again. And again. However long it took until he could get it right. Luigi had left this manual for him as a guide, and he needed to be up to the task.


	3. Plumber Parkour Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mario learns just what kind of grip his boots can get.

> The enterprising speedrunner, now that you have a beginning idea of what your body is capable of, will naturally expand their repertoire into the practice known as "parkour", which will [allow them to see the world around them as fully navigable, even if currently full of obstacles and barriers to be navigated.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_J_iJgm9wQ)  
>  [...]  
>  A specific feature of just about every piece of the Mushroom Kingdom is that it has a certain about of grip to it. Even things that we would normally view and see as smooth are actually ever so slightly granular. A plumber who can feel this through their boots, instead of wondering where their next meal is coming from, will [perform feats of verticality that would otherwise seem impossible](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5Laemq-yrw). Some speedrunners have used toe claws to help them get the feel for the grip before progressing.  
>  \--Chapter 3, "Plumber Parkour Party"

Mario swore with the last of the air that escaped him as he landed on his back again. This was way harder than learning the pipe jump, even if he had used it to wild applause at the Mushroom Kingdom Games that year. He pulled open the book and looked at the next page after where he had stopped.

> I personally recommend against this, however, as Mushroom Kingdom blocks have a severe tendency to break when punctured, even a little, by a sharp object.
> 
> How's the view from down there?

Mario slammed the book shut and kicked off the toe claws. He launched a spray of fire all around him with several more curses of Luigi's guide. He knew with certainty that Luigi had authored it by now - only someone who had grown up with him would know he would have stopped at the end of the page to try doing it before reading further.

He could feel the changes, though. Missions to rescue the princess that would have taken weeks now took days, and he was able to stomp more of King Koopa's army while he was at it. He discovered new routes through familiar places and was able to bypass obstacles that had normally required the wholesale application of fire in wide swaths. He felt like he could run faster and jump higher than before, and he'd started keeping track of how long he could stay in the air, stomping on anything and everything along the way. He'd amassed a phenomenal stash of the rewind mushrooms at this point, enough that he could start distributing them freely to everyone in the castle, to see if they could stop an invasion with them before it started. They hadn't succeeded yet, but they were improving, too.

If the Mushroom Kingdom ever decided to expand its borders into Koopa territory, they might be able to hold it now. Would the Princess ever decide to take the fight to King Koopa? That would be a strange world, indeed.

Mario stood up and dusted himself off. He still had to find Luigi. Even if it might mean waking up in a world entirely different than the one he had gotten accustomed to. He touched the nearby wall experimentally before launching himself upward to try and find the grip. When that was done, he'd start climbing pipes, too. Some of them had to hold secrets. Or maybe just stashes of coins that King Koopa used to fund his war efforts.


	4. Warp Pipe Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warp Network can help or hinder you, depending on how well you know it.

> The Warp Pipe Network is a yet-unmapped, confusing, and disorienting series of pipes that connect the various regions of the world. Some pipes lead to singular rooms, which may be filled with treasures, creatures, or blocks. Others lead to cavernous underground regions filled with species adapted for the lack of natural light, often with unseen mechanisms powering lifts and other transport methods used to traverse active magma and lava flows and other hazards like the apparently bottomless chasms of the overworld.  
>  Not all pipes are connected to the Warp Network, and the constant presence of the Piranha Plant infestation makes it hazardous to try and engage in a systematic survey.  
>  [...]  
>  The existence of Warp Zones, groupings of pipes that lead to disparate places on the world, suggests that a fast-travel network of pipes may be possible, but only a handful of Zones are known to exist, and none of them are known, at this time, to warp to each other. The one-way nature of Warp Pipe travel compounds the difficulty of both surveying and using this transit network fully. What fragments we have are invaluable in assisting speedrunners and heroes to get from one end of the world to the other with dizzying speed, but it knowledge is still vastly incomplete.  
>  At this time, without reliable air travel or a survey spotter that can work from a centralized Coin Heaven location, mapping the Warp Network remains a pipe dream.  
>  \--Chapter 6, "Warp Speed Travel"

Mario closed the book and put it back in his pocket, examining the tangle of pipes and their accompanying plants to see if he could make sense of it all. Luigi's writing on the topic had none of the usual jabs at Mario built in. The sketches were denser, as well, as if Luigi were trying to create a subway map of where the pipes led. It was a good thing they had both learned to read the MTA's shorthand, or none of this would have made any sense. Mario thought about one of the handwritten annotations that were starting to show up more frequently, the further he got in the book, as if Luigi were still trying to revise the material, or discovering new things about it in his travels. It made Mario uneasy. The techniques were grounded in practice and science. The book seemed to be turning heavily toward the metaphysical, like some of those kung fu movies they had watched back in Brooklyn. Everything the book had told him so far had been accurate, though. Gap dashing, wall jumping, pipe vaulting, spending minutes or hours without touching the ground at all. He'd almost beaten King Koopa back to his castle the last time Koopa took the princess.

What had been an adventure was starting to become routine, Mario realized. That was probably why Luigi wrote this book for himself, so that he could find a new purpose for all the time he was here and not rescuing anyone. Mario hadn't ventured particularly far into the Warp Pipes, in case he was needed, but he began to wonder if there weren't some people among the Toads who could be trusted to be a rescue brigade. A little training, maybe taking a few along on his next rescue, and they could do the hero job themselves.

Mario absently flamed a Piranha Plant that had gotten too close to him. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if things started to move back toward the way they were when he first arrived. Someone else might enjoy the excitement more.


	5. Seeing In Parallax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Occasionally, you might be asked to warp reality to achieve maximum speed.

> At this point, I feel confident in sharing what is perhaps the most fundamental part of speedrunning. By now, you should be used to performing feats that should otherwise be impossible, but because the Mushroom Kingdom is arranged this way, you've come to accept it as part of the fabric of reality. Truthfully, however, the things you are doing are [demonstrating the seams in that same fabric](https://www.mariowiki.com/List_of_Super_Mario_Bros._glitches). The techniques that follow will warp your perceptions of what is real and what isn't, but when put together with what you have already mastered, they make it possible to [perform a task you have already completed many times in merely a few minutes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRK81kMKXYw).  
>  \--Chapter 8, "The Parallax Scroll"

Mario stared. The diagram in front of him detailed a _method to pass through solid matter_. Luigi's handwriting was all over the page, many times annotating itself with nothing more than a "?" in a box. Mario couldn't believe this was possible. Sure, they might have both gone down a pipe into a world with mushrooms of strange properties, flowers that granted the ability to shoot fire and coins just floating in the air, but that didn't mean that you could just arbitrarily walk through walls.

Mario flipped the page to see if there was anything more described. Blank. He thumbed through the remaining pages. Right before the end, there was a single page containing seemingly random letters. Mario didn't realize he was translating out of the secret plumbers' code they had invented as kids until he had already read the first sentence.

> The Parallax Eye, once trained, will allow you to see the spaces in between what had previously been seen as a solid whole. Once the layers become clear, you will seem to develop magical powers of disappearance, reappearance, and can accomplish feats like passing through "solid" walls. I cannot explain the method, only that I spent a lot of time thinking and experimenting with the reality in front of me. If you are reading this, Mario, you have likely already come close to that point as well. There's only a little left tethering you to this game. Let go of it, and you will be able to see as I do.

Mario shook his head. Maybe the mushrooms had long-term effects that he hadn't noticed. Maybe Luigi had realized that the princess was subtly disappointed when Luigi had come to rescue her. Whatever it was, his brother couldn't have meant this.

And yet...he'd never been wrong. Mario had thought many of the things that he took for granted now were impossible when he'd started. And Luigi had taken a lot of care with this one to make sure it couldn't be read by anyone. Maybe this was the spot where Luigi separated from reality. But maybe he didn't. Maybe he'd found a way to see more clearly.

It took Mario until he was in situation that required focus before he found it. He'd taken his time coming to rescue the princess, seeing if he could spot any holes in the author around him. Koopa was waiting, as he always was, on the bridge, throwing flames and hammers. Mario was dodging the onslaught when he saw it first, so far into the zone of instinct that he didn't even recognize what happened until afterward. Instead of jumping and dashing and learning the timing, he just...stepped aside. He could still see Koopa and all of his weapons raining down, but they were aiming for a point where Mario no longer was. He supposed Koopa could still see him, but he couldn't touch him. Mario walked over the bridge unmolested, and then snapped back into the right layer to use the axe and give Koopa his lava bath. It seemed so routine at the time.

Luigi was right again. Now, Mario needed to figure out how to control it.


	6. To The Power Star and Beyond!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even speedrunners mess up sometimes.

> The Power Star is a mysterious artifact. While other plants and materials have clear and permanent effects on those that use them, the Power Star's effect lasts for approximately twenty seconds, supercharging the user's body to the point where mere contact with organic matter is lethal while under the influence of the Star. Curiously, inorganic matter is not affected by the Star.
> 
> The energy imparted by a Power Star might be enough to charge the Warp Pipe network and send one to a new world, but I will leave that discovery to another, more brave explorer.  
>  \--Chapter 7, "Plumber's Helpers"

Power Stars made it much easier to use the Parallax Eye, Mario discovered. He could slip into a different plane, slide his way through seemingly-impassable places, and then return on the other side with the last of the Star's energy.

King Koopa wasn't trying to kidnap the princess any more. Not since Mario had filled his attack and escape routes with enough fireballs that would mean Koopa would need a lot of rewind mushrooms to get through his traps. The Mushroom Kingdom was flourishing.

Luigi still hadn't returned. All Mario needed was to perfect this last piece of the puzzle, and he would be reunited with his brother.

Mario tripped scaling the pipe. Scrambling to recover, he kicked a block that hadn't been there a moment ago, which popped up a Power Star for him. Unfortunately, it also seemed to coincide with a Bullet Bill homing in on him. He didn't have time to grab a rewind mushroom.

Grabbing the Power Star, Mario shifted into the a new dimension to avoid the dangers coming at him. It was only after he'd changed that he remembered that shifting meant he would fall through seemingly solid objects, like the side of the pipe, and that this pipe was Warp-connected. He screamed as the vortex swallowed him, charged with the Power Star, and the Warp Zone propelled him much, much farther than he had ever intended to go.

Mario woke up on...an island. A block island of in the middle of a vast ocean. He felt around to make sure he had everything with him. Body parts, supplies, flowers, mushrooms...no Guide.

He sat bolt upright just as a figure pulled himself up from the water into the island.

"Luigi?"

The figure smiled at him.

"I see you found my book, Mario."

Mario sighed happily at the reunion, before slumping back down and sleeping again.


End file.
